Tuesday, March 28th 2017

Z. Birnbaum


Sue Again
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Gentlemen:

My organization, The Birnbaum Company, in association with various others, including, but not limited to Dexy's Midnight Runners, Camryn Manheim and Nabisco, as well as their ghostwriters, drinking buddies and so-called "friends with privledges", strongly discourage your very presence. My Client utilizes this ECI for an anecdote or two, NOT to be hunted like some grass-fead beast.

Your studied aloofnness clarly violates Section 775.5.(d) of the California Harbors and Navigation Code. It has been commonly accepted (see Burke v. Williams) that simple yoga asanas combined with deep breathing and a cruelty-free diet shall take precedence over all other electronically viewed media including, but not limited to, TaeBo, Buns of Steel, Fit for Life and the Sopranos 4th Season DVD with commentary (if combined with long-tern popped corn injestion). Your comments are slanderous!!

Therefore, we intend to sue. Are you mad? Do you think my organization a tribe of offals who can be manipulated with promises of filmed copulation?. We shall not sit idly by!!!

While many of our loyal assigns MAY be "out sick" - we can guarantee nothing but swift justice and your attempt to ease yourself out of the path of our eminent wrath is pointless.

Make no mistake, we intend to sue. Unacceptable!!

However, my client and I are willing to settle out of court for: an Apple iPod loaded with the complete works of Men At Work, 1. (one) case of domestic ale, chilled to our liking, the head of Sting as well as One (1) Dexy's Midnight Runner 's CD entitled "TOO-RYE-AY" (the 1981 original; a rare item which we expect to be delivered in fair to good condition) and (2) two lesbian or bisexual strippers who know curse words in French and can recite haiku.

The Choice is yours, SIR, Remit the following itemsSubmit to the steel will of our organization or drown in a deep sea of legal imbroglio

Please refrain from comments that may anger or upset Radiohead, the current and ex girlfriends of said Client and their assigns and/or appointees.. Any correspondence with my itinerant client (who shall from this point forward be known as "Client") shall be handled by me, my assigns and the good people at Pffizer corporate entity.

Namaste,

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Z. BIRNBAUM

PLEASE NOTE: SECTION 9. IF, BY REASON OF ILLNESS, INJURY, ACCIDENT, PHYSICAL OR MENTAIL IMPAIRMENT MY CLIENT IS INCAPACITATED ALL RIGHTS WILL REVERT TO GARY COLEMAN. UNBELIEVABLE!

FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.