Friday, May 26th 2017
View Open Cases
My organization, American Birnbaum, LTD., in association with various others, including, but not limited to Eddie Murphy, Pfizzer and Hal Linden, as well as their baby mamas, tailors and accountants, are deeply distressed by your loading this page without our permission. My Client utilizes this ECI for updates regarding the career of Denis Franz, NOT to be a victim of that which you have subjected him to repeatedly and without mercy.
Your blatant disregard for my client is in direct violation of Section 286.(a) of the California Penal Code. Are you mad? Do you think my organization a tribe of offals who can be manipulated with promises of filmed copulation?. Your comments are slanderous!!
Therefore, we intend to sue you several times over and into your next few lifetimes. You have engaged in the most heinous form of libel and shall pay with either blood or money. We shall not sit idly by!!!
We have put several unanswered calls into Aquent Staffing and, as soon as arrangements are made, many Temporary employess shall arrive at our gleaming offices to consume organic fruit juice blends and whole grain cakes. When this is completed, they shall be utilized in mounting a legal campaign against you which is sure to leave you sore (however sated and , yet, begging for more).
Make no mistake, we intend to sue you several times over and into your next few lifetimes. Unacceptable!!
However, you may be spared such disgrace (and various late fees) by remitting the following to our gleaming, high-prices offices at once:: a reasonable amount of Tang instant breakfast drink, a 24 pack of individually wrapped skittles, a bottle of MD 20/20, any flavor as well as five golden rings and Four (sometimes represented by the following symbol: "4") A good line on punctual , low-cost and self-medicating temporary assigns.
Your fate is in your own hands, SIR, Submit to out demands or find yourself among the ranks of those unfortunate dolts in the ZLS, LLC naughty files
Please refrain from comments that may anger or upset Grandmaster Flash, the current and ex girlfriends of said Client and their assigns and/or appointees.. We sincerely hope that we can resolve this issue in a manner pleasing to one Sting.
Warmest personal regards,
ADDENDUMATIA: THE ABOVE STATEMENT SHALL NOT BE CONSTRUED AS ONE OF FACT NOR SHALL SAID STATEMENT BE IN ANY WAY BECOME INTANGLED WITH SO-CALLED PFIZER'S NEW LINE OF PENILE ANTIDEPRESSANTS (AS SPECIFIED BY THE AFORMENTIONED CONTRACT, HEREIN AND HEREAFTER REFERRED TO AS CONTRACT. UNBELIEVABLE!
FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.