Saturday, May 26th 2018
View Open Cases
My organization, Zac's Legal Shack, LLC (ZLS,LLC), in association with various others, including, but not limited to Ernest Borgenine, Warren G and ViaComm, as well as their receptionists, bitches and so-called "friends with privledges", are deeply distressed by your very presence. My Client utilizes this ECI for dating options, NOT to be a victim of that which you have subjected him to repeatedly and without mercy.
You comments are libelous and in direct violation of Section 985.(c) of the California Evidence Code. Are you mad? Do you think my organization a tribe of offals who can be manipulated with promises of filmed copulation?. You want a piece of this, punk?!
Therefore, we intend to sue you several times over and into your next few lifetimes. Please do not underestimate the girth of our throbbing legal aparatus and it's ability to insure swift justice through our sphinchter expanding suit.. I'm Outraged!
Our staff, albiet temporary, incompetent and en route, will be fed the highest quality whole grains (which shall certainly NOT be of inorganic nature) as well as Ginko Biloba administered intravenously in preparation for your swift demise.
Make no mistake, we intend to sue you several times over and into your next few lifetimes. All rights reserved.!
However, you can avoid such action by providing: 4 packages of Grape Pop Rocks, as much oxycontin, lorcet, hydrocodone and Chipotle Doritos˘ as you can manage, three (III) off color t-shirts sporting ironic logos and/ore text as well as certain MAO inhibitors and five golden rings.
The choice remains with you, SIR, Submit to our random whims or find yourself among the ranks of those unfortunate dolts in the ZLS, LLC naughty files
Unless you enjoy severe, prologed agony delivered without remorse, you will comply at once. We hope that we can come to a swift and just resolution to this grave conflict..
NUTRITION FACTS: THE INFORMATION CONTAINED HEREIN SHALL BE INVALID UNTIL CONFIRMED BY ONE "PEACHES" OF THE PEACHES N' HERB FRANCHISE OR JOHN OATES, WHICHEVER IS GREATER. UNBELIEVABLE!
FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.