Saturday, November 17th 2018

Z. Birnbaum


Sue Again
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Criminal:

My organization, Birnbaum Recordings , in association with various others, including, but not limited to Kurtis Blow, Rite-Aid and John Oates, as well as their receptionists, assigns and bitches, are outraged at your incessant harassment via this virtual interface(VI). My Client utilizes this ECI for dating options, NOT to be spied upon by the like of you.

Your blatant disregard for my client is in direct violation of Section 4651.(a) of the California Fish and Game Code. It has been commonly accepted (see Burke v. Williams) that simple yoga asanas combined with deep breathing and a cruelty-free diet shall take precedence over all other electronically viewed media including, but not limited to, TaeBo, Buns of Steel, Fit for Life and the Sopranos 4th Season DVD with commentary (if combined with long-tern popped corn injestion). Your comments are slanderous!!

Therefore, we intend to sue. My Client wishes to assert that he is not engaged in any legal activity whatsoever. Please update your files, backing them up to exabyte or any stable media of your choosing.. Our intermittently well-staffed organization is prepped for battle as is Gabe Kaplan.

Our staff, albiet temporary, incompetent and en route, will be fed the highest quality whole grains (which shall certainly NOT be of inorganic nature) as well as Ginko Biloba administered intravenously in preparation for your swift demise.

Make no mistake, we intend to sue. All rights reserved.!

However, my client and I are willing to settle out of court for: 1. (one) case of domestic ale, chilled to our liking, one (one) loaf of Eziekel 4:9 organic bread, 4 packages of Grape Pop Rocks as well as (2) Super 8 standard bath towels and One (1) Dexy's Midnight Runner 's CD entitled "TOO-RYE-AY" (the 1981 original; a rare item which we expect to be delivered in fair to good condition) .

Your fate is in your own hands, SIR, Remit the following itemsSubmit to the steel will of our organization or drown in a deep sea of legal imbroglio

I urge you to rethink your position as we are certainly prepared to sue and have a solid, aflaccid, case against you. We hope that we can come to a swift and just resolution to this grave conflict..

Love,

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Z. BIRNBAUM

ADDENDUMATIA: SECTION 9. IF, BY REASON OF ILLNESS, INJURY, ACCIDENT, PHYSICAL OR MENTAIL IMPAIRMENT MY CLIENT IS INCAPACITATED ALL RIGHTS WILL REVERT TO GARY COLEMAN. UNACCEPTABLE!

FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.